“Learn manners. You must greet anyone who comes to the house.” This advice began when my husband’s friend visited our home. My husband and his friend were chatting in front of the house until his friend asked permission to use the toilet. When I realized there was a guest on the terrace, I stopped folding clothes and went out to greet him, offering him lunch as well. Then my husband said that his friend just needed to use the toilet, so I led him inside and said, “ Kanggeang , the house is messy, sorry.” A polite phrase that must be said after offering food. Even if everything is tidy—no dirty dishes scattered, no crumbs from your kids, and the floor freshly mopped—those words are set as default in Bali, maybe even in all of Indonesia. And the guest, of course, is supposed to reply, “It’s okay, our house is the same.” When I first got married and lived in my husband’s village, I was surprised that we offered food to anyone who came to the house. Even if they came at the crack of d...
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